In loving memory of my daddy who is in heaven...

Happy 10th Anniversary to Daddy!

It has been 10 long years and in those years, i graduated, earned my own living, got married and have a family of my own. Sometimes, i wished i could just be "daddy's little girl" again but life goes on.

I will always love you and cherish the moments we spent together. My children will learn and know that their grand-dad was a great man on earth! :)

The pix above was taken when he was a young college student (i think! hehe...). It's the only soft copy I have of him from my blogsite. Will hope to put up one of his latest photos later on :)

The man who loved unconditionally...

Today is a very special day... it's 17 August and it was my late dad's birthday! Here's wishing him in heaven a very Happy Birthday! If he's still living today, he'll be 70 years old. :)

Last night, my dad-in-law came back from his weekly badminton session with his friend, and upon reaching home, Sarah would "help" him with his racket bag or water bottle... it was a really cute sight. I couldn't help but remember my dad when he was still alive many many years ago. My mum was a baby-sitter and sometimes she babysits more than 1 or 2 kiddos at a time. There was a particular season when she took care of 2 girls (of the same age) since they were babies. As they grew up, one of them somehow got more attention from people around than the other. Reason being (I believe)... she looked a lot like a "gwailo" and being gwailo-look-alike, she looked so cute and everyone who saw her would say how cute she was and would love to carry her, etc... the other little one looked very much like a china-doll. Attention wasn't given as much though... (well, that was how much I could remember - i think i was only about 15-16 years old then...)

I remembered everyday, when daddy came home from work, he would carry the little one that had lesser attention. Somehow we saw that he loved her more. He carried her out "jalan-jalan" almost every evening. The love she showed the little girl was amazing. He came home from work and that little girl would wait for him to be carried. My daddy came back from work everyday by bus, and so little girl had a new bus ticket from daddy everyday. hehe...

I believe till today, that little girl had a special place in my daddy's heart.

When I saw little Sarah with Yeh-Yeh last night, I remembered my daddy and that little girl... wishing that my daddy was here too to carry Sarah in his arms. Eventhough he is now in heaven, I do believe that our little Sarah has a special place in his heart too. When Sarah grows older I will surely tell her about kong-kong in heaven who loves little children like her.

Here, I would like to say "Thank you, daddy"... for leaving behind such legacy in our lives... the love you've shown to those who was a little less fortunate... was truly amazing... truly unconditional. Happy Birthday, daddy! We love you very very much!"

Milk teeth... :D

Well, speaking about milk teeth... some of you might be surprised if I say that (I believe) I still have some milk teeth! Hehe... :D

When I was in my Form 6 about 10 years ago, I went to the dental clinic (organized via school club) and shocked the dentist then when she found out I've still got milk teeth! She asked, "Girl? How old are you??! You've still got about 6 milk teeth!" Woaw... it was an interesting discovery, not just for her but for me too! Year after year after that dental visit... I couldnt remember the time when any of my tooth dropped... hmm... perhaps only 1... So, I'm believing that I still have about 5 milk teeth in my mouth right now... :p

p/s - Don't ask me to go the dental clinic to check...

Growing up with Games!

Upon reading the article about "Plan a Family Game Night", I recalled the game nights (and days) with my family during my growing up years. Truly a great family-bonding time... and with friends and relatives too!

Monopoly was a must-have! We played games like Risk, Scrabble, Boggle and many other board games. When we visited our relatives down south in Batu Pahat, we would have tonnes of games to play with. My cousin had uncountable board games, card games & computer games. His house was like a game store (and music store... and pet shop!!!)! Hehe... Well, those were the days. I was actually the quiet one who "had fun" in my heart (hehe...). I was just an observer then. My bro & sis age were just 1 year apart and they and my cousins were all almost the same age (same wave length)... I was like the "left-out" one... the youngest and the stickiest to mummy! But yeah, I remembered those days... It was kinda fun! :)

Back in my hometown, Malacca... it was fun during our growing up years, as we played a lot and flunked a lot too! What "balance"!! :p My playtime with my school-mates (and neighbours) during the evenings were normally "masak-masak" - with different colored sand and grass and leaves, "batu seremban" (five stones), "teng-teng", "rubberband", stationeries-turned-to-family "make-belief" toy... wah... just thinking of it really made me miss those wonderful childhood days... *day-dreaming* :)

There was a mixture of all kinds of games played - from board games, to mind-boggling games, to traditional games like "congkak" and "chapteh", to sports like ping-pong and badminton. I enjoyed the time spent with my sis on congkak. We modified our congkak by using color palletes (replacing the congkak board) and one-cent coins (replacing the guli or seashell). We could play for hours from time to time, day after day. We also played carrom together and as a little girl, I remembered playing small combat toys and lego with my bro. The most time spent together was on jigsaw puzzle. We had about 10 sets of jigsaw puzzles (not easy one leh...:p). We were so crazy at one time for a season that we would mix all the puzzles together and we divide 5 sets each, and we will compete with each other by speed - seeing who finished first at the end of the day! We were so crazy that we could do a few rounds a day too! When we all grew bigger, board games took precedence of all other games and toys. Me, my sis, my bro and some friends enjoyed playing Monopoly and Risk and Scrabble and err.. err.. cant remember what else...

So, yeah... I believe as a family, we were really blessed to get exposed with all kinds of games! "Game nights" is totally encouraged in each family. I will of course cultivate this kind of family leisure time when Sarah and future kid(s) grow up... :p but of course with a balance! That's when hubby has to come in! Hehehe...

Where do i get those looks from?! LOL!

While i was in Melaka, i looked through some collections of old pictures - both my mum's and dad's. Check out photos of both my parents' in their younger days! They both were so cool back then, weren't they?! That's how they got cool children like us too! Hahaha... :D

Mummy & Daddy

Young daddy - i think this was taken during his college days... :)

Check out mummy's hot hairstyle & sunglasses! Hehehe... cool eh?! :)

Daddy & Uncle Kok Seng - they played doubles in tennis during their schooldays. :)

A Total Reflection of My Baby

I was looking at her as she sleeps soundly on my chest. Many times when I did that, I felt joy beyond words.

Yes... on the way home from supper on 1st January 2009, this memory became fresh in my mind....

Somewhere on January 2007.... I thought I was pregnant.... we did the pregnancy test at home.... and the doctor later confirmed it! WOW! How exciting! How happy we all were!! I was 4 1/2 weeks pregnant, and at that time, I couldn't wait to tell the whole world about this good news! I started reading more about being pregnant and yes, I was only 4 1/2 weeks pregnant and I was excited all over!

About 1 1/2 weeks later, I started getting signs of bleeding... I got worried. I read about spotting and prayed that it would only be that. A day later, the bleeding became heavier and I knew at that time, something was really wrong. Hubby and I prayed so hard that God will save the baby. My in-laws came over to our house and everyone started praying... I remembered so vividly of how sorrowful it felt then and we prayed to God for a miracle to happen. At that time I told the Lord, I don't mind the suffering... I don't mind if I had to go through any pain.... yes, any pain at all... and all I hoped for in return was just save my baby. That was all that matters then. Though it was just the beginning stage of pregnancy, I already felt so close to my baby. It was a life that I was carrying, and to take it away from me would kill a part of me.... Yes, I experienced a little of what a mother's love was like... The following day, we went to see the gynae, and he said that I just had a miscarriage. Our hearts dropped when we heard that.... We wanted a second opinion and we went to see another gynae, and he said the same thing... Hubby and I went home feeling helpless. We cried but that was all we could do then. I was given 2 weeks off by my good boss to rest at home so that I would recover my health fully. I know that my life is in God's hands and that I must learn to surrender my life and my all to Him. It was just within a few days that I started regaining back my strength and confidence. Hubby and I believed God has taken control. Hubby told me that we will start it right the next round. Let us commit everything into His hands. We started praying more together in preparation to be new parents. God did wonders in our situation. He turned things around... from a bitter situation to something so sweet. We took it positively and looked upon God for a new life coming our way. Pastor Dexter sent me a message when I got the miscarriage: "God gives the best!" Upon seeing that SMS, hubby and I claimed that Word and believed that God will give us only the best. Amen!

It wasn't easy to share this at all... it was harder back then - that whenever I face anyone who was expecting or carrying a baby - I would cry in my heart and asked God, "Why?" A few months after the incident, there was Mother's Day celebration at church. It seemed like the toughest day of my life! I'm sharing this today because I know some of us may experience moments of mournings, moments of sorrows, but as we turn our hearts to Jesus, He will bless us with joy in abundance! Let this new year be a year of "turning our mourning into dancing"... :)

~Psalm 30:11-12~
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

Today, when I look at Sarah, my heart whispers, "You are all that matter now... God has given daddy and mummy His best...."

Thank You, Lord, for giving us this precious gift of life.

In loving memory of Daddy...

February 24, 2001... a day to remember when Daddy left for a better place in heaven.

It has been 7 years and I would like to dedicate this day in loving memory of him.

A few days ago, i was talking to my little princess in me, telling her that I'll always love her from the bottom of my heart... all the days of my life! Daddy & Mummy are here, waiting for her arrival and will love her always *huggies*... She's such a cutey! That's what i call her too... "baby cute-cute!" and sometimes she responds to that. hehe... She's been kicking, hiccuping, moving (sometimes vigorously!) and sometimes it does hurt me (physically), but all these seem so worth it.

Walking down memory lane... I remember receiving Birthday cards from Daddy & Mummy every year when I was studying in college. And of course, my sis & bro never forget me too. They send me personalised cards with personalised message... (cool ya?! :)) My daddy was very good at choosing the best cards for his children. Every year for 3 years, he would send me a card with words so beautiful and meaningful I would cry.

When I turned 21, being blessed with so many people who loves me, i received many gifts and cards. Yet, the best card I've ever received was from that one man I called "Daddy"! :)

I felt so special and blessed to be born in a family that showered me with so much love and especially with a daddy, who may not be very good with verbal expression of love but the best in written expression!

Quoting from the card...

Dear Rachel,

Even when you were a little girl, we always knew that there was something very sweet and special about you. We never had a doubt that someday you'd grow up to be a caring thoughtful woman who would bring such pride to us.

A lot of parents wonder, as they watch their children grow, what kind of people they become and how their lives will go.

But from the first time that we saw your face and held you tight, we knew you'd turn out perfect... And you know what? We were right!

Love always,

Mummy & Daddy

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" (Matthew 5:8)

Tears rolled down from my eyes when i read that.... many times when i open that card, i cried buckets too. It left me with a smile on my face knowing that - that was all that matter and that was in their hearts, in his heart....

So dear daddy, thank you for being my role model - to become the bestest dad (or mum) to my own child. I know that when the time comes, when i hold her in my arms.... it will be the same as when u held me in yours. I'll tell my girl those same words you expressed to me through that card! I love U! :)