Babies cry. There's no way to avoid it — it's one way they communicate. Since your baby can't flat out tell you, you may worry, "How will I know what she wants?" It can be difficult at first, but a large part of parenting is trial and error and you'll soon learn to anticipate her needs, read her cues, and wipe away her tears. Here are the most common reasons babies cry. If your little one is wailing, work your way down the list and chances are you'll find something that helps. How can I tell why my baby is crying? She's hungry Once you learn to recognize the signs that your baby wants to eat — she'll fuss, make noises, and root around for your breast if you pick her up — you'll get pretty good at feeding her before she starts to really cry. Until then, checking to see if she's hungry is a good first step when your baby cries. Food might not stop her crying right away, but let her keep eating if she wants to. She'll stop once her stomach is full. She needs a fresh diaper Some babies let you know right away when they need to be changed. Others don't mind when their diapers are soiled — it's warm and comfortable to them. (Parents are often surprised when they pick up their infant and find she's been sitting in a dirty diaper and never made a sound.) Either way, this one is easy to check and simple to remedy. She's too cold or hot Newborns like to be bundled up and kept warm. (As a rule, they need to be wearing one more layer than you need to be comfortable.) So when your baby feels cold, like when you remove her clothes to change her, she'll express her discomfort by crying. You'll learn how to quickly change a diaper and wrap your baby back up. Be careful that you don't overdress her, since she's less likely to complain about being too warm than about being too cold and won't cry about it as vigorously. She wants to be held Babies need a lot of cuddling. They like to see their parents' faces, hear their voices, and listen to their heartbeats, and can even detect their unique smell (especially Mom's milk). After being fed, burped, and changed, many babies simply want to be held. You may wonder if you'll "spoil" your child by holding her so much, but during the first few months of life that isn't possible. Infants vary a lot in how much they want to be held. Some demand a lot of attention, while others can spend long periods of time sitting calmly by themselves. If your baby likes the attention, pick her up, wear her in a front carrier or sling, or place her next to you. She can't take it anymore While newborns often thrive on attention, they can easily become overstimulated and have a meltdown. You may find that your baby cries longer than usual after spending a holiday with many adoring family members or has periods at the end of each day when she seems to cry for no reason. Newborns have difficulty processing all the stimulation they receive — the lights, the noise, being passed from hand to hand — and can become overwhelmed by too much activity. Crying is their way of saying, "I've had enough." This usually happens when your baby is tired. Take her somewhere calm and quiet and let her vent for a while, and then see if you can get her to sleep. She doesn't feel good If you've just fed your baby and checked that she's comfortable (she can be troubled by something as subtle as a hair wrapped around her toe or a clothing tag that's poking her), but she's still crying, consider checking her temperature to make sure she isn't ill. The cry of a sick baby tends to be distinct from the hunger or frustration cry, and you'll soon learn when your baby's cries "just don't sound right" and she needs to be taken to the doctor. None of the above Sometimes you might not be able to figure out what's wrong. Many newborns develop periods of fussiness when they're not easily soothed. These fussy periods can range from a few minutes of crying to full-blown colic. Colic is defined as inconsolable crying for at least three hours a day and at least three days a week. Even if your baby isn't crying this much, these episodes may be difficult for you. When all else fails, try the tips below. I can't figure out why she's crying. What should I do? Wrap her up and hold her close Newborns like to feel as warm and secure as they did in the womb, so try swaddling your baby in a blanket, wearing her, or holding her against your shoulder. But be aware that some babies find swaddling or cuddling too constrictive and respond better to other forms of comfort such as rhythmic movement or sucking a pacifier. Let her hear the rhythm Babies are used to the sound of your heartbeat; that's another reason they love to be held close. You can also try playing soft music, singing a lullaby, or even putting her close to the rhythm of an electric fan or the white noise of a vacuum cleaner. Put her in motion Sometimes just the motion of carrying your baby will be enough to calm her. Other times, it may help to rock her gently in a rocking chair or swing, set her in her bouncy seat, or place her in her car seat on top of the dryer while it's on (the dryer's vibrations can cause her seat to move enough to fall off, so make sure you stay by her side while you do this!). You could also push her around outside in her stroller or take her for a ride in the car. Massage her Most babies love to be touched, so a massage might be just the thing to soothe your baby. Don't worry about not knowing the perfect movements — as long as they're gentle and slow, they should bring comfort. Also, try rubbing your baby's back or belly. This will help if she's having gas pains — which may be the problem with some colicky babies. Let her suck on something Even when she's not hungry, sucking can steady an infant's heart rate, relax her stomach, and calm her flailing limbs. Give her a pacifier or a finger to clamp onto and let her go to town. Take care of yourself No baby ever cried herself to death, but a crying baby can be very stressful for new parents. You're chronically sleep-deprived and may already be unsure about how to care for this baby. Mom's emotions are all over the place due to the hormonal changes she's going through. Dad may not be sure what role he should play in caring for the newborn or whether he'll ever get Mom's attention again. Add a crying baby to this scenario and many parents can become overwhelmed with feelings of incompetence. If you know your baby's needs have been met and you've tried to calm her but she's still crying, it's time to take care of yourself so you don't get too exasperated: • Put your baby down in a safe place and let her cry for a while. • Call a friend or relative and ask for advice. • Give yourself a break and let someone else take over. • Put on quiet music to distract yourself. • Take deep breaths. • Remind yourself that nothing is wrong with your baby and crying won't hurt her — she may just need the release. • Repeat to yourself, "She will outgrow this phase." • Whatever you do, don't take your frustration out on your baby by shaking her. Fortunately, babies (and their parents) are resilient and somehow manage to get through even the most difficult crying episodes. Take heart that by the time your baby is 8 to 12 weeks old, she'll be better able to soothe herself and much of the crying will stop. |
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