Never Quit!

Many times in my life (even recently), I've been meaning to quit... well, don't ask what or why... and yes, i went through what some people says the "Ecclesiastes feeling"... it's that feeling about life is meaningless, everything I do seems pointless and God seems far away then. Sometimes it feels as if it happens like a cycle in my life. Hubby says it's a year end thing... :p He got that thought because he said it's the time of the year when I normally would recall what I've done this year, what have I achieved, etc... and then thinking again of the coming year's resolution. Hmmm... is it really because of that? It got me thinking....

Well, perhaps it's not just about having a total recall of what has happened this year, but what I believe is happening to me is a shift of the mind that needs to be taken place. It happens almost every now and then (in cycles) because deep within me is still searching for my destiny - Who m I? Why m I here? Things are just moving on as they normally do but what matters most is still "hanging" some where... out there... That alone frustrates me to the point of giving up. Being a new mummy and being in a totally different lifestyle is challenging... it's exciting... it's given me something to look forward to everyday... but somehow, something is still missing. I'm so totally in need of God! I know He's reading my blog and He knows exactly what I'm feeling! (Hehehe... God reads blog! cool! Hey God, what's Your blog address?! :D)

Well... two days ago while at work, it suddenly dawn upon me the reality in life and the response to what I should give towards it. There may be questions unanswered and life's uncertainties around me... (yeah... that Ecclesiastes feeling...), but I know I need to look at things in a different perspective.

Little Sarah taught her mummy a very good lesson! I've learned from just watching my little princess doing her day-to-day activity. She's one girl who never seem to understand the meaning of quitting! I like that about her! At the same time, it reminds me of how I should act and react in my personal life... in my personal agendas. I know it's not easy to do, especially when people becomes more and more complicated in their minds (like me! :p), but I've got to trust God to help me.

O yes Lord... this daughter of Yours is really in need of some guidance! I've been somewhat lost but I know Your amazing grace will save me. Come O Lord... come... and take Your place in my life. In Jesus' name I pray - Amen!

Chris Tomlin - Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)


Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine